Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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