I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
