dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Randomize
