He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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