I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
