You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
