some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
your room smells of hookers.
And success
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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