I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I have feelings that need drinking.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize
