I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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