They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
