Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
