I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize