I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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