One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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