I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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