I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize