we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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