yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
