Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
We're not piercing ourselves today.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
