I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Randomize
