Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
