Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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