you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
