My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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