where does the pee come out of this thing
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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