After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
