I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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