Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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