The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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