is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Randomize
