I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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