so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
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