dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
babies were throwing up all over the place
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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