She went from zero to smokin in five shots
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
