Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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