it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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