some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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