You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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