i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Damn victory sex feels great
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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