now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.