is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog