Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
21 Disappointing Confessions From Teenage Fathers
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I just jacked off to nostalgia.