After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Randomize
