Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
