weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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