never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
