I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
