I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
