I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
