Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
