i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
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