HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
