The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
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Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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