btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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