I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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