I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
