i wish starbucks made bloody marys
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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