Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I skipped work to stalk him.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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