Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
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