You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
