I looked at my own cervix.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Will exercising make me less horny?
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