Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
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