I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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