We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
