last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
