Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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