I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I want to be your penis for a week.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
