Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Floor bacon is actually really good
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
