It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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