What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are going to name an STD after you.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Randomize