There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
