My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
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I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
where are my eyebrows?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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