What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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