I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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